So, anyway, this post isn't really about chöd. This post is about being loud in a dorm. Chöd is a loud practice involving chanting, singing, a big drum, a bell and what's basically a trumpet and can last anywhere from 20 minutes to several days (though, let's be honest, I'm more on the 20 minute end of the spectrum). I've also got other practices to do, like ritual feasts, also involving singing and a bell, that are fairly loud. So, how do I balance being respectful of my neighbors while also engaging in my faith? Do I just do the practices in the middle of the day when they're probably not there? What if they are? I have no idea what my neighbor's schedule is like, what if he studies at one in the afternoon? (Weird, right??) I just don't know. There's also the fact that I usually do my practice before going to sleep, which really isn't going to work. I doubt anyone wants to listen to that ruckus around midnight, so I guess it's time for a schedule change.
It's also not just about being respectful. It's also about being self-conscious and wanting to avoid judgement. About equal with not wanting to be considered rude, I don't about to be considered that weirdo that makes a bunch of weird noises in his room in the middle of the day. I feel a little ridiculous explaining these practices and the reason for them to a bunch of "intellectuals" who think it's bollocks already.
And maybe that's an issue. In fact, I already think it is. I shouldn't care so much what other people think. Maybe people think I'm a little weird. So what? Maybe they think what I'm doing is stupid. And? I should give far fewer shits about others' opinions and perceptions, especially in this situation.
Which brings up a quote I like by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. "If being me offends you, maybe I'm not the problem."
I really should just be me. Noise and all.
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